I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
