I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
