Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
