Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
