Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Randomize
