yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You are the jesus of drinking
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
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