dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Small penises have feelings too.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
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