Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
