This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize
