somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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