You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
