He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize