my mouth tastes like poor choices
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
