i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
