Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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