bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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