anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
