So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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