it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
