Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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