His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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