I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
