you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Randomize
