I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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