was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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