Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
