I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
