I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Randomize