I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
