We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
