I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
