That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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