come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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