I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
