You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
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