I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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