i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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