I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Mom said you looked used
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
