Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
