Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
