So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Randomize