I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
