The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Randomize
