Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
