Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
