My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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