So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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