they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
