Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Houston, we have a squirter
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
