i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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