Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
