Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
