She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Randomize
