No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
