5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
Randomize
