cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
