just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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