One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
