try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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