Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
