Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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